This is a guide from www.nelp.net and is not to be confused with the rules of engagement at the LANcaster LANShack Satelite or The Groveton LANShack (my barn)

On-line Gaming has now been around for over ten years.. It seems to have taken off and it seems to be getting bigger… Conversely the LANParty scene seems to be getting into high gear. New LANParty events Crop up and very few of them seem to be getting smaller. For us geeks on-line games are a double edged sword. If you spend too much time on-line playing games your wife gets pretty mad at you because you’re on-line playing games all the time. And secondly All your new friends that you did meet on-line have no idea what your first name is.. They only know you as your on-line screen name.

Enter the LAN Party scene. You can finally attend an event and meet the people you have been virtually fragging for a long time and meet your new friend’s friends that they have been virtually fragging… How do you make a good impression at a LAN Party and what should you bring and/or how should you prepare….
Preparation
I had a teacher in High School who used to preach about “The 6 “P’s”… What are the 6 P’s? Prior Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance… Nothing is worse than getting to a LAN and finding you forgot something. Make a list check it twice.. I have a separate list of things I like to bring as a just in case. Think as if Murphy has it in for you. If you bring it, you won’t need it. If you don’t bring it, it’s the one time you need it….
Screw Drivers are a classic example; if you forget them just one time then you’re screwed, literally. Try to install a fresh clean install of your Operating System on your PC and have it running with all the games and required programs before you leave. I personally have never done this but a good idea is a spare hard drive would be perfect for this task, unplug your main drive and leave it at home. Then when you get home just swap the drives over and your back on-line in no time.
Here is what I like to bring to a LAN Party:
1: Tool Kit complete with Screw drivers, Nut Drivers, wire cutters, Needle nose pliers,
2: Deodorant, Or Shower in a Can. Skip a shower, fine, but skip the deodorant and you will be a lonely gamer.
3: Change of Clothes at the very least a shirt, See above
4: Directions to the Event
5: Mobile Numbers of Organizers and of Friends your meeting.
6: Local Map of Pubs and/or Food outlets.
7: Cash and Cash Cards, keep a close eye on your wallet. Most gamers are trust worthy but there is always one moron.

Now on top of the above if you want to be well liked bring Any Spare bits of computer that you do not need. e.g. CPUs, Thermal Paste, Mice, CPU Coolers AC adapters, Surge protectors. For some odd reason I seem to see a never ending stream of gamers that lose, drop, break or eat CPU fans at these events. At one party I brought 3 25’ Cat5 cables… This one guy almost thought I was Christ his savior because I had a spare one on hand. If you have a Cat5 Tester or a Power supply tester you can be a hero as well.. Having a Cat5 Tester got me into an event early once…

Arrival
Try to arrive before you need to, this will enable you to scope out the event. Find all the relevant information like Tournament times, toilets, food and drink stands, etc. Also if you are intending to Camp at the site it’s a great time to find the prime spot, or to book into the hotel and drop off all un-necessary bags and bits. After all you do not need your underwear on show at the LAN. Also, it’s worth finding the nearest fire exits, in the event of an emergency you don’t want to be scrambling mindlessly. By emergencies I not only mean Fires but I don’t think your friends will like the smell of fresh vomit over their PCs. And if it is your Birthday that weekend you’ll want a quick exit route planned.
A quick toilet note: Most events have more than adequate facilities, use them and DON'T abuse them. Toilet paper sculptures are great until you need the toilet paper afterwards. If you are unable to arrive early due to other commitments, try not to disturb others by walking into the LAN site screaming "IM HERE EVERYONE!" I have made this mistake many a time and when you walk into a quiet LAN party room it usually means everyone is in deep concentration of game play…
Finding your seat is always fun, if you arrive early normally no problems, however arrive late and often someone has either parked in your spot or nicked your chair or both. Try not to cause a fuss, but rather speak calmly and politely and if need be get some big friends to help resolve the issue. Computer Carry Cases make it sooo much easier to carry the big heavy computer, Invest in one! Also get the one for you monitor as well. I like to use a big Duffel Bag for the list of above items the bigger the bag the more items you can bring and also the less trips back and forth from your car…
Set up your PC with your neighbor’s well being in mind as well. Don’t stretch across him if he’s playing a crucial BF2 match. And what ever you do DO NOT unplug anything that is plugged in. A simple plug swap can quickly turn into a mass pummeling. Also worth noting is the small box with little flashy lights. This is normally the Network Switching Hub. This is what does all the networking. Again if you enjoy your fingers DO NOT UNPLUG ANY OF THE WIRES!!! Once set-up do a quick systems check to check all is working. Make sure you have all the relevant Network passwords to the Network and check its all working. If not don’t bumble along blindly! Ask someone who knows, like the cool dude in the corner. Often the Cool Cat will give a better answer than most Event Network staff. Introduce yourself to the Host, Ask if there is anything he/she needs help with. Do not look annoyed if they take you up on that. Getting in good with a LANParty host is never a bad thing. Especially if you ever want to host your own in the future…

The Gaming.
Right you’ve arrived, settled in, switched on and found out where not to touch. Now, its time to start gaming. It’s always worth finding out the players around you. Last thing you want is to be playing, and as you get shot you scream 'You F***ing Cheating N00B' When the guy is 6’ 6" and sitting behind you. Remember you don’t have the luxury of your warm unknown house to keep you safe now. These are REAL people sitting just behind you, abusing them is not a smart move. If you do make an inappropriate comment in frustration make sure it is swiftly followed by a very vocal apology. On a sub note.. Make sure to use Politically correct language as much as possible.. Derogatory names against particular races and/or Religions could not only be embarrassing but downright un-cool…In the same spirit of respect, try to respect that other folks may be playing important matches when your not. Try to keep celebrations and noise to a minimum, those of you that fail to adhere to this simple precept will soon Know! and be told to CALM DOWN. Privacy is something that is often overlooked at LANs, Of course we all want to see who’s playing what and how. But if your playing a match against the guy behind you its not smart to go looking over his shoulder while he’s trying to hunt you down..... This often leads to the summary discharge of YOU, followed in close proximity by your PC. Cheating is something No-one is fond of so don’t even try it. Speakers are a no no... Headsets are a minimum requirement at a LAN. With up to 100 or more people all talking and playing at once your unlikely to even hear speakers let alone be able to make use of them. While your average 5.99 headset will suffice a Headset with a boom mike could really make the difference. Especially if there is a Teamspeak server set up and you need to communicate with your teammate who is sitting 35 rows away from you. Even in defeat its worth remembering to congratulate your opponent, you never know if he will buy you a consoling pint afterwards. If you win the tourney Never ever rub the person’s nose in it… I like to politely point out how a person could have beaten me. Or tell him how close he was to beating me. Nobody likes an arrogant cod.. This goes for all manners of things at a LAN, Be nice and most gamers will happily get a drink for you or let you know when food has arrived. For me personally I spend more time sorting other people’s problems out than gaming but I stagger away with a lot more friends.... Now that’s what I call a good weekend.

Packing Up Time.
When it finally comes time to pack up and go home spare a thought for those still around you. Many gamers play tournaments right till the last minute, when you’re lugging your PC out the door try not to smack them in the back of the head. And Remember the unplugging Rule!!!!!!! Don’t block hallways and stairways just to make it easier for you, take things out piece by piece and take your time. The LAN is over there is no need to rush about to get home, after all the purpose of the event is to get out and about. Make sure you use your checklist and double check you take everything home. Last thing you want is to get home and realize the guy who needed to reinstall Battlefield and you saved his butt by letting him borrow your CD still has your CD that you desperately need. Here is a really important thing. Neatness counts! When you arrived was there Popcorn and potato chips underneath your seat? If there is when you go to leave pick it up..
Better yet if you spill something make sure to pick it up as soon as you spill it. If you do it now it’s less you have to do later. Nobody likes slobs so try to be a neat nick at a LAN. Make sure you have all the relevant information from your new found friends emails, phone numbers, etc.. Go to staples and get Business Card forms for your fancy color printer and make calling cards with your screen name on it.. I have a funny one I hand out but it has my E-mail and Phone numbers on it for those people I want to call me. However, if needs be make sure you have handed out the relevant INCORRECT E-mail to that annoying Geek that did nothing but annoy you all weekend.

The Conclusions
Have you enjoyed your weekend?? Is there anything the Event organizers could have done better or any praise required? It’s easy to sit and ***** at the organizers after the event but a quick email highlighting good and bad points is always helpful. Be polite and only add useful comments, Things like The Event Sucked are not helpful. Try to be specific and constructive, like ‘I had frequent power issues at the back table’ or ‘the pizza was really cold and gave me the runs something fierce’ Comments of that nature are not only informative but constructive. The organizers can now look at addressing the Pig swill and Inept Power issues. Also, Its never a bad thing to give praise when praise is due!

After witnessing some of the violations of said etiquette over the past couple of years I thought Id take a moment to document the Top 10 LAN party Etiquette Faux Paus:
10. Bringing snacks/beer for yourself and not sharing with the group.
9. RSVPing and then failing to show without even a courtesy call to say you’re a loser.
8. Disconnecting someone else’s CAT5 line from the switch while trying to get your own rig set up.
7. Turning off the power switch to the power strip powering not only you, but also your buddies machine and or the above mentioned network switch!
6. Sucking up limited table space with your rig and then proceeding to play single player games while group carnage is in progress.
5. Fooling with someone else’s PC settings or config without clearing it with them first
4. Smut mining or otherwise digging for files on others computers on the LAN without getting permission first.
3. Tipping off your teammates as to enemy positions after you’ve been whacked
2. LAN scouting (i.e. looking at everyone else’s monitors) while you’re well entrenched as a camping whore. And the number one violation is...
1. Sucking up bandwidth by surfing for smut over the shared Net connection and/or Playing on an offsite server when the whole purpose of going to a LAN was to not ***** about LAG while playing online!!

Keep the above in mind and you will always be a welcomed attendee However, with the weekend activities drifting into distant memory its the anticipation of the next Event that takes centre stage. What do I do next time?? Is there anyway I can avoid being Cable tied to the Fence? LAN Events are all about experience, the first time you go just go and lay low. Learn from the experienced gamers, and take some of it home with you. Next LAN you go to will then be easier to enjoy because you know how to behave and what to take. Whether you had a good or bad time you can always go back next time and try to make a better time of it.........

Got other beefs I missed or comments about my list? Drop me a line or post in the forums! See you there.